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My
mother Rose Marie Mercy died July 11, 2006. These are the
words I spoke at her funeral.
Somewhere Rose Marie Mercy’s soul is smiling because she has managed
to get all her children back into St. Ferndinand’s Church at long
last.
Looking at the photos, as we have been for the past few days
especially, our Mother was a beautiful child. By all accounts, she
was vivacious as a teen-ager. She made friends in High School who
lasted throughout her adult life. She married our father while in
her early twenties and gave birth to the eight of us, her children,
over a 13-year span. I have never thought that raising us was easy
for her.
In my childhood, I experience Mom as a quiet and private person.
Sometimes I thought she was overwhelmed by her vocal, intelligent
and rambunctious children (I’m being kind here, in describing us!).
She drove us all over the place in a big, blue Econoline van and
there was always music in the house. Our father died in 1974 and she
came through that difficult time to become her own person again.
She discovered the joys of education. She took every class offered
at the time by the Mission Hills Community College. She was the
Valedictorian for her graduating class. She then moved on to
California State University at Northridge and earned a degree in
History. A number of credits she earned on study trips to England
and 5 trips to China. She loved to travel and went on Elder Hostel
courses regularly. Then there were the cruises and the many trips
with her sister, Our Aunt Zella (Evelyn), her brother, our Uncle
Joe, their spouses and assorted other relatives.
She moved from the family home at 454 Alexander Street to Leisure
World in Laguna Hills, California. She told some of us that many
years before she had been there and decided that someday she wanted
to live in that beautiful place, so she did. She took 2 years to
move, driving a carload down whenever it was ready.
In the 90’s she gradually gave up traveling and embarked on
something that she had talked about for many years: making quilts.
Mother’s daughters all learned to sew and there were many home-made
outfits around as well as unfinished projects. She saved all the
pieces and the scraps.
Mom decided to make quilts for all her children and grandchildren.
When I would come to visit in Laguna Hills, s sewing machine was
usually set up on the dining room table and there were stacks of
squares and triangles all over the place. She would show me the
quilt tops she had finished and they were just beautiful. I offered
to help finish them, but she wouldn’t let me. She said that she was
going to do all the tops first and then go back and finish them.
Mom loved to go to movies and to talk about her children and
grandchildren. She loved having us all over to her place. When I
visited her in Laguna Hills, the family would get together and she
would plan meals. I think we all enjoyed it when we switched over to
pick-up Chinese food. She used to say that she liked hearing all of
us talk. That’s what she would say if we were all together and
someone noticed that no one was talking to her.
She really hated it if she thought we were talking about her. Once
she fell down in her apartment in Laguna Hills and called Rosie and
John to drive two hours from their place to help her get up. She
didn’t want to call the emergency services available because she
didn’t want her neighbors to see an ambulance come to her place with
the sirens on. After that she told each of us individually what had
happened, but that it was a secret from all the others. Of course,
we talked about it!
The last few years have been difficult for our fiercely independent
Mom as her advancing Parkinson’s disease disabled her and she was no
longer able to live on her own. When Mom could still talk, she used
to say that she wanted to go home and now she has. As sad as it is
to say goodbye, I think we are all glad that she no longer has to
live what her life had become.
I am sure that we all learned a variety of valuable lessons from
Mom. Here are some of my favorites:
~
Don’t throw perfectly good things out-you never know when you will
need them.
~
Matinees are the best times to go to the movies.
~
At restaurants, order a big meal and take half of it home for later.
~
Pray-when we were kids, we said a lot of rosaries with Mom,
particularly on long drives.
~
If you take the label off a can (so you can send it in for a
refund), make sure to write what’s in it on the top of the can.
~
Enjoy family-even if it means laughing until you cry.
That’s as far as I could get when writing this. But Mom’s story
doesn’t end. I think of her when I’m laughing so hard I cry. I think
of her when I am sewing and when I am teaching my granddaughter to
sew. When I see a bargain, I thank Mom for being able to recognize
it.
I guess that is all that is left to say: Thanks, Mom, for our
lives-for being part of our lives. I thank God for giving us Mom.
That’s all I really want to say-just thanks.
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Last updated: September 4, 2008